Positive Thoughts

With all of the commonality women have, why can’t we all just get along? We, as a “weaker” sex, have banned together to get our way throughout history. We have made huge leaps as women. We can now vote, we can now work in the same jobs as men, we can also make just as much, if not more than men in the workplace. (This is a generalization I know, there is the gap; and no, it’s not the thigh gap, it the salary gap of $0.67/hour between men and women.) I am saying all of this to you, to prove a point and ask, why can’t women band together to love each other as well?

We have all been guilty of sitting with our girlfriends, and seeing a woman that looked different from us, “Look at her, she’s kind of skanky, right?” I know I am guilty. Hell, this past week on the beach I saw a 6’+ woman who was very, slender, almost sick looking. See, I did it again. She may not have been anorexic, or bulimic, but I am sure she has been labelled that by her appearance. As I saw this very tall woman on the beach, I tried to push labels aside and really look at her. She was beautiful. She had porcelain skin, her angular cheeks had a blush of pink from the heat, and her pixie hair cut was super adorable! I loved it, and her bikini was rockin’!

I, being a plus sized woman, have been labelled, lazy, and gross and just plan out fat. I am none of these, well I am not gross, except for those Sunday’s I am extremely lazy, and refuse to shower until 3:00 p.m. (We all have those days, right?!) I have been judged my entire life, called names, and stared at by random people on the street. I had a girlfriend from high school tell me once, that she, as well as my other classmates, never thought of me as different. So my question to all of my female and male readers is this: Why can’t we all just see each other for who we are, and not what we look like?

As some of you know, I did have gastric bypass surgery three years ago, resulting in a drastic 150 lb. weight loss. Now, you may be asking, if she isn’t concerned about looks, why did she want to lose weight? Losing weight, for me, was a health concern. I was 27 with high blood pressure I had developed diabetes, and seriously hated the idea of having to walk up the stairs to my apartment. This was an issue for me. I opted to get healthy and after many, many failed attempts at diets and exercise, bypass was the only legitimate outcome. I chose to do it for my health and not my beauty; after all, I was already beautiful.

Do not think that anything I said above calls larger people unhealthy. It is not. I know plenty of people who weigh more than I do, and are healthier than I am. This is just a choice I made for myself, with no judgment to others who choose not to. I am not a doctor and cannot say what is better or worse for anyone out there. What I can say is, no matter whom you are or what your friends come to you with, be honest with them, and discuss their options openly. This can be plastic surgery because someone is uncomfortable with their crazy (lazy), eye (I have one), or what color or cut they should get at the salon next go around. Just be honest and up front without your opinion. They will value it more than your sugar-coating.

I guess all of this is to say, in my first opening blog, that I wanted to discuss an issue that I thought strongly about. This is it. Body shaming of either men or women, (yes, men get it too), should STOP. That’s it. Stop it. Stop talking about that woman down the aisle from you at work, or the man you pass in the elevator every morning, stop judging by outward appearance only. Take a moment, stop, and actually take a second to think of something nice about that person. Have you actually taken a moment to say hello? Take that moment. Say hello, and get to know the person, not the body.

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