**For my family and friends, this does have language.
I read a blog entry titled, “What the fuck is Fuckable.” In the blog, a woman describes how she has been preparing for a role for two years, only to find out two weeks before filming she is being let go. The reason, she just wasn’t fuckable.
As a woman, I am at the stage where I feel unfuckable. I feel frumpy, dont want to do my hair, I rarely dress up, or wear makeup. Now, I know these things do not make you pretty or fuckable; however, I am in a funk and feel like all of this works against me in that area. Honestly, it has nothing to do with my fuckability, it has to do with how I feel about myself.
I do not remember the last time my boyfriend told me I was pretty. He does on occassion tell me I look nice, when I actually wear real clothes, not leggings and a sweatshirt. This makes me smile and say thank you, because it makes me feel like the effort was worth it. Someone noticed I tried!
This morning I took a selfie. I had gotten myself an iced venti latte from Starbucks, wearing a new scarf that I got and I love. I thought I was looking good. I posted the picture on Facebook. Later as I was scrolling through saw it again. I have gained weight. My face was fat! Why would I post this?! Horrible!
Some of you may know who Coach Tulin is, if you don’t, I suggest you look her up. She is an amazing woman, and I admire her. She is a plus-sized fitness coach and motivator. She is offering a support group, and I am joining! I’ve been wanting to do this for a while, and I finally stopped making excuses. I AM DOING THIS!
I also have to thank my friend, Danielle too. She is always into fitness and posts on Instagram her workouts of the day. She is doing a 30 days of yoga workout, and I want to do that! I am going to start with the beginners guide to yoga, by the same person, and hopefully with Coach Tulins help, we can modify and help me too!
So this is me posting my goals for the world to see. I do have a weight goal; but more importantly, I have a fit goal! Wish me luck!