Anxiety

I read one of those “10 reasons why dating a woman with anxiety is unlike dating any other woman” articles the other day.  Thinking, wrongly, it looked interesting.  By the end, I was so irritated by the article and its stereotypes I was seeing red.  I understand I am not the only woman, or person, in the world to suffer from anxiety, and unlike the article, I also realize everyone suffers and exhibits anxiety differently.  I was so upset by the blatant disregard of the seriousness of anxiety, but for the lighthearted manner in loving a woman with anxiety was taken.

One statement that really struck a chord with me was: 

“When loving a woman with anxiety, she will never love another like you.  She will open her heart to you and trust you like no other, because she will cling to you and you will be her world.”

Uh, no.  Just no.  How about the other half?  Sometimes there are women with anxiety who have issues with opening up about the anxiety.  When they feel anxious they will close themselves off from you, because they are afraid you will see their vulnerable side, and will not be able to handle that.  They want you to see them as strong independent women, because let’s face it, they are strong and independent.  They just have moments of uncontrollable worry and frustrations.  How about those women?  Or the fact that she will love you like no other, because every love is different?  No one person can love another person exactly as they loved another.  It is impossible.  Every love is one all its own.

There was also something in the article about an anxious woman needing more time and consideration than other women.  How does that make sense?  I think in some cases, this is true.  However, this is not always the case.  Every person, man and woman, needs consideration period.  Everyone has their issues and times they need a little extra time and consideration.  Any relationship you are in be in a friendship, a significant other, or a family member will need this at some point.  Not just an anxious S.O.

I really feel that this article is highlighting anxiety as a negative personality trait that needs to be coddled and tip-toed around.  That is not the case.  Anxiety needs to be out there, talked about and dealt with.  I am an anxious person.  I have anxiety.  I have moments when it is uncontrollable for me.  I have been known to curl into a ball, gasping for air, crying and unable to speak or move for various amounts of time.  I have also become more open about this, and in doing so I am more able to cope with those moments.

I am in no means as bad as some, nor claim to be a chronic anxiety ridden person.  I do taken medication, and I can tell when I am off of it.  I have coping skills, and I am still learning on new ways to deal with certain things in a more responsible manner.  This is by far, not the cause or case for a lot of people.  However, articles like the one I mentioned just make it seem like anxiety is a joke.  This article had no serious insight as to what it is really like to date women with anxiety.  Instead of she will constantly ask you if you are going to leave her, and need reassurance, how about, she will have moments of worry and doubt about many things.  Be there for her, show her your willingness to help and support her.  Let us focus more on the actual seriousness of anxiety, and stop making it a joke…

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*Face palm*

Hi guys, this may turn into a fitness blog for me over the next few weeks. I didn’t start this blog with any specific theme in mind; however, I did start it with the intention of sharing things that are important to me, and probably others.

My mornings usually consist of coffee, shower, puppy,  and work. This week, I have been  incorporating yoga into my morning routine. I am doing this in order to prep for my 21 day fix class with Coach Tulin.  (I keep mentioning her,  and you may get sick of Tulin, Tulin,  Tulin but she is seriously my new shero!) This morning I had to work at 10, instead of 11.  Now this is not early, but I forgot.

I set my alarm for 7, so I could do my yoga, get ready, and drive to see Maci to let her out to potty and play a bit.  I woke up and lazed around at 8, i realized I didn’t have time for yoga or Maci today.  Needless to say, my day started out a little rotten.

I am bummed there wasn’t enough time for Maci play time, she is adorable and makes my day. I have to admit, and am so proud of this, I have been majorly bummed about missing my yoga this morning! I can tell I missed it, because feel sluggish, sleepy, and bleh. 

There is a bedtime series of yoga by Adriene that I ran across yesterday and cannot wait to get home and try it. I think this is the first time in my life I have been excited about exercising, usually I dread it.

I credit my support group of Plus size ladies in helping to motivate me,  and allowing me to realize perfection is not what we are striving for. We are striving for movement,  happiness, and health. Fitness comed with the above things, and remember #fithasnosize !

**Update: I got home late, but still did my bedtime series of yoga. I’m starting to feel a little something in my legs and stomach, so I know I’m building some muscle up. That makes me feel fantastic.

Great news too. I got my 21 day fix package in the mail too. I cannot wait to read through it all.

The Beginning of a New Journey

**For my family and friends,  this does have language. 

I read a blog entry titled, “What the fuck is Fuckable.”  In the blog, a woman describes how she has been preparing for a role for two years,  only to find out two weeks before filming she is being let go.  The reason, she just wasn’t fuckable.  

As a woman, I am at the stage where I feel unfuckable.  I feel frumpy, dont want to do my hair, I rarely dress up, or wear makeup.  Now, I know these things do not make you pretty or fuckable; however, I am in a funk and feel like all of this works against me in that area.  Honestly, it has nothing to do with my fuckability, it has to do with how I feel about myself. 

I do not remember the last time my boyfriend told me I was pretty. He does on occassion tell me I look nice, when I actually wear real clothes, not leggings and a sweatshirt. This makes me smile and say thank you,  because it makes me feel like the effort was worth it. Someone noticed I tried! 

This morning I took a selfie.  I had gotten myself an iced venti latte from Starbucks,  wearing a new scarf that I got and I love. I thought I was looking good. I posted the picture on Facebook. Later as I was scrolling through saw it again.  I have gained weight. My face was fat! Why would I post this?! Horrible!

Some of you may know who Coach Tulin is, if you don’t,  I suggest you look her up. She is an amazing woman, and I admire her. She is a plus-sized fitness coach and motivator. She is offering a support group, and I am joining! I’ve been wanting to do this for a while, and I finally stopped making excuses.  I AM DOING THIS!

I also have to thank my friend, Danielle too. She is always into fitness and posts on Instagram her workouts of the day. She is doing a 30 days of yoga workout, and I want to do that!  I am going to start with the beginners guide to yoga, by the same person, and hopefully with Coach Tulins help, we can modify and help me too!

So this is me posting my goals for the world to see. I do have a weight goal; but more importantly,  I have a fit goal! Wish me luck!