Halloween

Yesterday was Halloween.  I was in my office at work and I thought about all of the Halloween’s past.  I know, I know, cliché-esque I know.  Christmas past, Halloween past.  Whatever, go with me.

My mom was a single mother, a very young single mother.  Not like a lot of the single mom’s you see nowadays.  I think it is rare to see a single mother, living on her own, working, support her children, without any help from government assistance, parents, and or living with someone.  I do know a few, I do, and I really admire these women.  I am not knocking the women who have help, believe me, my mom had a ton of help, my grandparents were a driving force during my childhood; and, my grandmother still is to this day.  I just look around me now and I see so many women with children with men revolving in and out of their lives, and I do mean revolving. Like doors.  Sure, everyone needs companionship, but do you need it at the sake of your child?  They do watch you and they do learn from you, remember that.  Seriously.  Remember. That.
Anyway, I digress.
Halloween.
I was thinking back to my many costumes:  the black cat, the bunny, the princess, the punk rocker, the ghost, the vampire, the goddess, the Victorian princess, an angel, etc.  All of these costumes were made by my mother.  They were not bought at a store, they were handmade and put together by my mommy.
The cat:  a tail sew and stuffed with cotton, it even had a curve to it.  The ears were black with pink satin-y stuff on a headband.
The princess:  a dress I fell in love with at a dress store that we got and the crown was her’s from her Prom Queen days.  I thought I was beautiful.
Punk rocker:  a metallic purple wig that was purchased, a shirt that she had that had rhinestones for days and a pleather, yes pleather skirt.  I also had pink fishnet stockings.
The vampire:   a couple of bed sheets, purple and black to be exact, made into a dress and cape.  I also had a hood of some kind with some makeup to make me look even more pale than normal.
The bunny( back to my younger years): a white turtle neck, white tights, a cottontail, that she had made, she had painted my makeup, and also made me some ears, I’m sure they were fashioned in some way as the cat ears, except for white and bigger.
All of these costumes were made and created by my mother.  She helped me become some form of whatever I wanted to be that year.  She worked a full-time job, but never missed a Halloween.  We always trick-or-treated.  She would drive me around for hours while I went to doors trick-or-treating, gathering my candy.  She would check my candy as well, even though we knew every house we went to.
She did all of this, and to this day, at age 33 I still remember every Halloween and all of those trips.  I remember the times I was too scared to go to the door by myself and she would go with me. She held my hand and even knocked on the door when I was too shy or scared.
My mom did so much for me, and I know she will do a lot more for me through the years, but Halloween was definitely one of my favorite holidays.  It still is.  Even though I don’t dress up anymore, I hand out the candy to those little kids who come up and say trick-or-treat, thank you, and run away to their moms waiting on the sidewalk.  They always leave me smiling and remembering my mom and the fun and memories we share.

Past, Present, Future

I was driving from my city life, to my old country life on Sunday.  I exited the interstate, turned on to a country road and saw the signs, “Come Enjoy Easter Sunday at the Cowboy Church!”  I knew there was a cowboy church not far on the left, and it made me smile as I got closer and saw all of the cars and people in the parking lot.  They were fellowshipping and talking, most wearing jeans and cowboy hats, then I spotted them; two regal cowboys mounted on their horses by the drive. They looked like statues, sitting still, and serious, rugged lines across their faces, one holding an American flag and the other holding the Christian flag.  It took my breath away.  I forgot to breathe just for a second, as I continued on down the windy road toward my own family.

I spent the day loving on my cousins’ new babies. I played with Lea, the spitfire of a little girl, who never sits still.  She hunted eggs more times that I can count.  I ate more than I like to admit, and I visited, which made me realize I do not get to go it enough.

The family was there, most of us anyway.  We were missing a few who live farther away and could not make it.  We did get to see their Easter pictures online after lunch, and laughed and talked about how much we missed them and how fast times seems to go.  We were a little nostalgic at the Easter’s past.  We remembered how we had prize eggs.  How my cousin Heather always seemed to find said prize egg, and how my grandpa always painted that prize egg.

We talked about our relatives present and past.  We smiled at the memories and laughed at some of them.  Some of them were a little more sad than others, due to we were missing so many people who have passed.  I know for me, I miss my grandpa the most at Easter, due to said prize egg painting and daffodils blooming.  The wind always brings the fresh scent of Spring with it, and a little twinge of sadness.

As I drove home from my Easter Sunday spent with my family, I passed a tractor cutting a field, getting it ready for planting.  I thought of the cowboys again, sitting regally on their horses.  They were messengers of God that day.  To me, they reminded me of all of the things I am thankful for.  I am thankful for all of the farmers in our nation, who provide us with the food we eat daily.  They are not really cowboys, but farmers, but those cowboys symbolized so much to me.

They symbolized the past, of country weekends and nights, the present, of being both country and city, and the future, something I have yet to see.  The country disappeared behind me as I veered onto the interstate, and drove toward my present and future with a little sadness.  Even though I have lived in the city for over 10 years now, I will never lose that part of me that loves dirt roads, fishing holes, four wheelers, trucks, and animals.  I will always want goats and chickens, maybe one day I will have them, but for now, my city life is my life, and I will live in and enjoy the present.