Anxiety

I read one of those “10 reasons why dating a woman with anxiety is unlike dating any other woman” articles the other day.  Thinking, wrongly, it looked interesting.  By the end, I was so irritated by the article and its stereotypes I was seeing red.  I understand I am not the only woman, or person, in the world to suffer from anxiety, and unlike the article, I also realize everyone suffers and exhibits anxiety differently.  I was so upset by the blatant disregard of the seriousness of anxiety, but for the lighthearted manner in loving a woman with anxiety was taken.

One statement that really struck a chord with me was: 

“When loving a woman with anxiety, she will never love another like you.  She will open her heart to you and trust you like no other, because she will cling to you and you will be her world.”

Uh, no.  Just no.  How about the other half?  Sometimes there are women with anxiety who have issues with opening up about the anxiety.  When they feel anxious they will close themselves off from you, because they are afraid you will see their vulnerable side, and will not be able to handle that.  They want you to see them as strong independent women, because let’s face it, they are strong and independent.  They just have moments of uncontrollable worry and frustrations.  How about those women?  Or the fact that she will love you like no other, because every love is different?  No one person can love another person exactly as they loved another.  It is impossible.  Every love is one all its own.

There was also something in the article about an anxious woman needing more time and consideration than other women.  How does that make sense?  I think in some cases, this is true.  However, this is not always the case.  Every person, man and woman, needs consideration period.  Everyone has their issues and times they need a little extra time and consideration.  Any relationship you are in be in a friendship, a significant other, or a family member will need this at some point.  Not just an anxious S.O.

I really feel that this article is highlighting anxiety as a negative personality trait that needs to be coddled and tip-toed around.  That is not the case.  Anxiety needs to be out there, talked about and dealt with.  I am an anxious person.  I have anxiety.  I have moments when it is uncontrollable for me.  I have been known to curl into a ball, gasping for air, crying and unable to speak or move for various amounts of time.  I have also become more open about this, and in doing so I am more able to cope with those moments.

I am in no means as bad as some, nor claim to be a chronic anxiety ridden person.  I do taken medication, and I can tell when I am off of it.  I have coping skills, and I am still learning on new ways to deal with certain things in a more responsible manner.  This is by far, not the cause or case for a lot of people.  However, articles like the one I mentioned just make it seem like anxiety is a joke.  This article had no serious insight as to what it is really like to date women with anxiety.  Instead of she will constantly ask you if you are going to leave her, and need reassurance, how about, she will have moments of worry and doubt about many things.  Be there for her, show her your willingness to help and support her.  Let us focus more on the actual seriousness of anxiety, and stop making it a joke…